It has been a tough start for my 2013 as I struggled to give my mom the best nursing care that I can offer. Even though she can no longer recognize me in her last few days, I didn’t mind it because what matters to me is her comfort and cure.
I would surely be missing her and up to her last breath, she made sure that we will be alright even though she’s no longer with us. I may hope that if possible she could stay a little longer but then I realized that it would just lengthen her pain. It would be very selfish of me if that’s the case.
Losing her is so painful, but she taught me to stay strong and continue my life for the rest of the family. She nurtured my sense of responsibility and made me realized my capacity to take care of the family in her behalf. She trusted me that much to finally let go and it’s something to be proud of.
She’s a kind mother who will not spoon-feed everything but rather let you do things on your own to prepare yourself for life’s toughest battles. Indeed she raised me well.
Losing her gave us a lot of hidden blessings and one of the most important ones are those relationships once broken being reconciled.
I was able to realize how families are taking care of each other (both from my mother’s and father’s). I didn’t feel alone after all.
During the time of my mother’s illness, I was able witness the realization of the sacred promise of “IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH” as my father clearly lived to it.
Never in my life I saw them fighting on the top of their voices, exchanging harsh words and insults. Either one would always lower his or her pride.
Somehow, the pain is slowly fading but I know it is going to be a tough and long process. Time will come that everything will be fine.
I know my mom is not totally leaving us because I know that she will be forever be staying in our hearts. Whenever we face problems, I will just only remember how she faced it during her time and eventually we’ll get through it.
I will forever be missing you mang. Thank you for raising me well. Be happy and pain free in the other side.